Migrants are constantly haunted by "the life not lived"

Past Lives, Enter Ghost and Expats

Past Lives (A24)

We make many decisions in life. They take us to where we are right now.

In general, I’m not one to daydream about how my life would have turned out if I made this choice or the other. I'm very satisfied with being where I am, even when my choices lead me to the "wrong" place.

But, while living in another country it's almost impossible not to wonder about the life you could be living back home. A simple glimpse of a photo of your family enjoying a meal, or your friends partying, makes you imagine being there as well.

Even if you are happy where you are, the choices you make seem more constant. You are not in your country because you chose to be elsewhere. And, in a way, you have to keep choosing it, over and over again. It's like we're always divided between where we live and where we came from. Even if you don't wonder what life would be like, there's this constant feeling that there could be two of us out there, living very different lives in separate universes.

Fortunately, there are movies and books that also explore this feeling, and I have certainly thoroughly enjoyed some of them lately.

---

Enter Ghost by Isabella Hammad

Enter Ghost follows a Palestinian actress called Sonia while she participates in a Hamlet production in Palestine. While the play isn't intended to come across as politically charged, it quickly becomes one after several attempts by the Israeli army to prevent it from taking place.

Sonia grew up in the UK and has spent most of her life, except for a few vacations, away from her country. She constantly compares herself to her sister who lives in their hometown and teaches sociology at university. As compared to her sister, she feels she's not involved enough with the Palestine cause. Also, she doesn’t understand her family and origin country that well, and by not living there she feels left out.

By acting in this Hamlet production she finds herself connected to her land and understands that art is political and can provoke change. Being an actress can also be a powerful act of resistance.

And we as readers feel she can finally let go of feeling bad about her choices and be able to reconcile her life in the UK with the life she could have lived in Palestine.

Past Lives

Oscar-nominated Past Lives covers three periods in two Korean friends' lives. Na Young (Nora) and Hueng are 10 years old when Na Young's parents immigrate to Canada. They consider themselves boyfriend and girlfriend, although they are only kids.

12 years later, they reconnect through Facebook when Nora is living in New York. They Skype often and develop their relationship, even if apart. However, they are not open or able to move from where they live, so they break up.

Another 12 years pass and Hueng travels to NY to finally meet Nora again. Nora has been married for 7 years now. The whole trip feels awkward as it is supposed to feel, but you can clearly see that they have good chemistry. They are still cherished friends but it’s clear that Hueng traveled to see her and would still be open to a relationship.

Arthur, Nora’s husband also feels very uncomfortable with the situation but is understanding. He sees Hueng as part of her identity, something he can’t really access.

And that’s the lens through which I viewed the movie. Hueng represents not only someone she cares deeply for, but the life she could have had had she not immigrated to North America. The first time they re-contact each other for instance she starts relearning how to write in Korean to better talk to him. At some point, she says that being with Hueng makes her feel less Korean and more Korean at the same time. Probably because he both reminds her of her life in Korea and serves as comparasion to how she is now.

This division is played out throughout the film and it's clear how her relationship with Hueng represents a part of her that makes her who she is.

Expats (Amazon Prime)

Based on the 2016 novel The Expatriates by Janice Y. K. Lee, Expats follows three US women who live in Hong Kong. Margaret (Nicole Kidman) is dealing with the tragedy of the disappearance of her youngest son, partially caused by another expat: Mercy (Ji-young Yoo).

The episodes are released weekly, and as the moment of writing there are only three available. I'm still not sure how this series will play out. However, as of now it has certainly got my attention and seems like a well-developed story and something worth watching