The Beauty Myth
Are we wasting too much energy and money on how we look?
My mother never leaves the house without lipstick. "You never know who you may meet!" she asserts defensively.
I have always been puzzled by the idea that my mom would be viewed differently without makeup. I bet most people don't even notice someone else's makeup, even fewer judges. I never wear any, except for "mandatory” moments, such as weddings, or once in a blue moon when I feel like it. I don't think people think less of me because of it, or at least I hope so.
I have always been too lazy (and stingy) to partake in all of the beauty practices that seem so common to my fellow Brazilians. Nails are done weekly, body hair is waxed monthly, and gyms are attended religiously. We are only behind the US in plastic surgery. According to an online survey conducted in Brazil in June 2020, female respondents spent on average R$1530 ($318) on cosmetics per year, which is more than the country’s monthly minimum income.
Beauty habits are so entrenched in our culture that we don't question them. They are expensive and time-consuming. Precious time and money to spend elsewhere.
And that's the main point of Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf. To get us to reflect on why we obsess about our bodies and appearances. Is it actually for our health that we diet constantly? Do we really want to add Botox to our foreheads? Can we really fight time and never age?
How much more time and freedom would we have if we could love our bodies the way they are?
The Beauty Myth
"The Beauty Myth is the premise that there is a literal –albeit inhumane– state of physical perfection that doesn’t actually correspond to any human qualities but that nonetheless, as women, we’re all supposed to commit ourselves to", Naomi Wolf
Published in 1990, The Beauty Myth is a famous feminist book. Before picking it up, I didn't know much about Naomi Wolf. Only now, while researching her and the book, do I see that she has quite an unsavory reputation, which honestly seems quite deserved. In The Beauty Myth, we can already sense a bit of a conspiracy mentality about her. The statistics presented to support some of the chapters feel somewhat wobbly as well.
Honestly, though it has its moments and is punchy, I couldn't help but feel that the book could still go through some final editing.
Nevertheless, I think it's still worth reading, especially to compare things in the late 1980s and now. It got me to reflect on what has improved and what has deteriorated after more than 30 years. In some parts of the book, she even seems to predict the future.
One of them is the popularization of plastic surgery
Plastic surgery became popular in the 1980s and 1990s. At that time, breast implants and liposuction started to become routine procedures. Nowadays, there are hundreds of different types of surgery and "non-invasive” beauty procedures that generate billions of dollars (approximately 14.6 b just in the U.S.).
I have never felt comfortable with the concept of plastic surgery. Most people don't share my discomfort since having plastic surgery and talking about it candidly seems unremarkable nowadays.
Nonetheless, if you think about it, it is quite remarkable and even contrary to some medical practices. For instance, surgery is always the last option if you have any issue or disease, be it in your stomach, liver, or uterus. And even if surgery is needed, doctors always strive to be as minimally invasive as possible.
That's not true with plastic surgery. Healthy people (mainly women) undergo invasive and risky procedures every day without needing them to improve their health. Plastic surgery uses a large part of medical practice and resources, even though it is not fighting disease, protecting patients, or saving lives.
I know plastic surgery has an upside. Especially for patients that have had accidents and had a part of their body deformed, burned, suffered from cancer, or in other specific cases. But with 12.8 million surgeries globally per year, I think some reflection is needed.
In the end, surgery should "cure" something, and it is weird when the thing we are trying to fix is ugliness.
But that's not how it is sold to us, and that's not how we see it. Plastic surgery is sold as a medical practice that doesn't cure anything; it enhances our beauty and makes us look and feel better. However, beauty is a myth. An abstract concept subject to individual tastes and cultural differences, and that can never be truly reached.
How can surgery provide us with something that is unreachable?
Far more difficult to achieve, with surgery, we strive to cure or prevent aging. An impossible task. We will all age one way or another. No matter how many procedures, creams, or surgeries we can afford.
Ageism
It is worrisome to see so many people under 25 on TikTok promoting products and procedures that prevent aging. It feels like aging is the worst thing that could happen to you. To be so young and worried about wrinkles would be laughable if it didn't mean young people would spend time, mental space, and money on something pointless.
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The popular narrative about men is that they age pretty well. They age like fine wine. As men get older, they get promoted. They gain money and power. Getting a dad's body and salt-and-pepper hair is commendable. If you are George Clooney, you'll be voted the sexiest man alive.
For women, however, because we are more valuable when we look good than when we have money and power, we are constantly on a downward trajectory. Or at least that is what the beauty myth implies.
This cannot be further from the truth. We also age like wine. We also get better with time. More powerful, compassionate, richer, wiser, and smarter. Many women say they are living their most fulfilling lives at 40, 50, or older.
Bridging the generational divide is one way to combat this idea. Stop "Ok, Boomer-ing" people and look for role models here on Substack, on social media, or in real life. If you take the time to find those role models, you will see that there are many positive things awaiting us once we get older and aging will cease to be feared.
Eating disorder
Women stamped on magazine covers were the only role models available 30 years ago (or the more prevalent ones). In the 1980s and 90s, those were actresses and models. All of them looked extremely thin. This imposed an image of what a woman should resemble: young, beautiful, and most of all, thin.
This obsession with thinness sparked the rise of eating disorders.
In The Beauty Myth, Wolf recounts her own struggles with it and how she lost a friend to the disease. Unfortunately, the situation hasn't improved. 70 million people worldwide are diagnosed with eating disorders. This is a huge problem since they are the deadliest mental illnesses, and in many cases (40%) they are never cured.
Fatphobia and the prevalence of images of thin people in the media and magazines in the last many decades and today on social media continue to keep women and, to a lesser degree, men in constant fear of getting fat—a continuous fight with our own bodies.
With social media, role models have become more diverse. We can connect with women older than we are, fatter, and from other countries and ethnicities. This has moved the needle, but thinness and Western beauty ideals are far more prevalent and, consequently, still more desired.
Moreover, diversity is still behind a screen. Far too curated and filtered.
Social media, constant comparison, and filtered versions of everyone bring another set of challenges. We now want to look like what we see on the screen, which is usually unnatural: wider eyes, a thinner nose, a larger mouth, and whiter skin. A novel term was coined for this desire to look like our online, filtered version: "Snapchat dysmorphia”.
The beauty ideal became the Snapchat or Instagram ideal, which was, for a long time, Kim Kardashian. Clones abounded. And as with her physical transformation and worldwide recognition and success, surgical procedures started to represent a way of bettering ourselves. Controlling and improving ourselves was something we could finally do. What are eating disorders if not a way to control and radically change our bodies? That's why it has never faded away.
That has been the popular interpretation: The Surgical Age is an unqualified good. It is the American Dream come true: One can re-create oneself "better” in a brave new world. It has even, understandably, been interpreted as a feminist liberation…This hopeful female yearning for a magic technology that destroys the beauty myth and its injustices- with a "beauty” that is almost fair because you can earn it with pain and buy it with money-is a poignant, but shortsighted, response. - Naomi Wolf.
But can we really blame women here?
Beauty has advantages. It's easier to find a job and a suitable partner. People are nicer and more sympathetic to you if you are pretty. Being tall and slim is unconsciously correlated with better work performance.
We all crave security. The world is, unfortunately, very competitive. Why wouldn't we want to improve how people perceive us in order to be more secure?
But beauty is not a guarantee of success or security. Or what we are most likely to associate with: happiness. Beauty is unreachable and always changing; it is fleeting. We are sold that it will get us what we want, but it won't.
We are made to believe that we can achieve everything we want if we have flawless skin like Hailey Bieber. We can be billionaire businesswomen if we have lips like Kylie Jenner's. We can be edgy and cool like Zoe Kravitz if we take off the fat from our cheeks. As with any good propaganda, we are sold an idea and an emotion—something we would like to be.
As Wolf predicted, it doesn't affect only women anymore. Men today (to a lesser degree) also feel pressured to reach beauty ideals. Working out more, using more beauty products, caring more about their clothes, and doing more procedures. They are also told they have to look a certain way to achieve what they want.
After all, capitalism doesn't discriminate. They want us all to feel insecure about ourselves. The more you hate your body, the more you consume. Always seeking that life-changing cream, lipstick, or surgery. Never happy, never quite there.
How can we fight the Beauty Myth?
Understand that it is a myth.
Different people, cultures, and ethnicities find different people attractive. What is beautiful for one generation is not beautiful for another. Even two sisters who grew up in the same country, culture, and family will still disagree on who is beautiful and who is not.
Beauty is unattainable, just as happiness is unattainable. It is an ideal, a mental image, and its constant pursuit is profitable. That's why it will always be used for consumerism. As a way to sell and control.
But far more harmful than keeping us poor is keeping us under constant self-surveillance, looking for defects in ourselves. It makes us obsess and consumes our time. Maybe that's why there's an hourglass on the book cover. By emphasizing the wasteful nature of trying to alleviate the beauty ideal, Wolf wants us to see the waste of time and energy we spend on it. Time is our greatest resource and the only one we can never get back. Why spend it on something that won't make our lives and the world better?
Find better role models.
Social media is a cesspool of constant comparison. Seeing people who look amazing talk about plastic surgery, creams, diets, and new exercises is unhealthy. It makes you feel immediately inadequate.
Look for people who are comfortable in their skin and look different from you to follow and engage with.
Sorority
The main solution Wolf gives us in her book is to not judge other women for their looks. This is something that I think has improved a lot in the last few decades, and it is indeed freeing as a way to be accepted as you are. For that to work, you also have to accept and love everyone else for who they are.
Fight it, unite, and talk about it
It's cheesy, I know, but love yourself and accept your body for what it is.
Ask yourself why you engage in beauty practices. It could be the case that it's fun and creative for you, and that's amazing. Don't let me stop you.
But be conscious that a lot of money is made over our insecurities. The products we buy are harmful to our health and the environment. We consume far more than we need, generating mountains of plastic and clothing that are burned, contributing to the warming of the planet. These mountains of trash are sent to developing countries and pollute their water and environment. We use resources we don't really need.
Feminism can bring well-being to everyone around us. Less focus on beauty means a healthier body and planet with fewer chemicals and more time and money to spend on what's important. A more balanced and fulfilling life.
Beauty's hold on our society is a big problem. We lose healthy people every day to plastic surgery, suicide, and eating disorders.
I have given up convincing my mom that there's no harm in not putting lipstick on. But maybe we can convince the younger generations to use their time and energy more wisely.
The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf.
The struggle for gender equality has played out alongside the unchanging belief that women must be aesthetically pleasing. The widespread emphasis on female beauty entraps women in the ceaseless pursuit of a physical ideal. This color perceptions at home, at work, in the media, and in public life. Naomi Wolf exposes the tyranny of the beauty myth.
Flawed (2010).
This week I brought something different—a short video. I loved how creative it was, and the story is cute. It's available online without a subscription at the National Film Board of Canada. I would also suggest this YouTube video, which honestly broke my heart a little bit: I was ugly until I spent over $30,000 on a new face.
I struggled to find a suitable movie on the topic; if you have any suggestions, let me know.
This docuseries with four episodes narrated by Keke Palmer investigates the beauty, hair, and nailcare industries, exposing harsh truths. It focuses on something I didn't go too far into in my text because it's not mentioned in the book The Beauty Myth: how beauty products can be dangerous to our health. Not So Pretty contains disturbing revelations, and the real-life anecdotes used to illustrate them are devastating. With such a torrent of bad news, the docuseries stubbornly resists the feelings of helplessness that can accompany it. Instead, it focuses on what viewers can do by ending each episode with a tidy list of “do’s and don'ts.”
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I can recommend the comedian Chris Rock’s documentary, Good Hair:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MazokEvX63I