Why only women are basic b*tches?
We can enjoy whatever we like
Last week, Valeria's third season was released on Netflix. I watched it all in one sitting.
Valeria is basically a modern-day Spanish version of Sex in the City. Four women (the main character being a writer) navigate relationships in their early 30s. They dress fabulously and seem to have endless time to gossip together. They obsess about each other’s relationships and live happy lives in Madrid.
The show is 100% girly. It has some interesting episodes about harassment, and it's pretty feminist, but it's still something that wouldn't be considered highbrow TV by a mile.
Even though it was fun to watch, I couldn't help but disregard it a bit as I considered writing about it. Not feeling like it was worth talking about. And it got me wondering why I felt ashamed of enjoying this show.
It's probably the same reason I never pick a book with too girly a cover. In our (my?) unconscious minds, stories marketed to women seem dumb or not worthy of our attention. Movies or TV shows that are too feminine, focused on romance, or just joyful feel less meaningful. They are not high-quality TV. They won't win awards; they shouldn't even be considered.
Male-acclaimed movies, books, and TV shows are the worthy ones.
That's even the case for stories that men enjoy but are pretty boring, badly developed, and don't make much sense, as in a lot of action and superhero movies. They still feel more worthy of everyone's time and consideration than romance stories. They are regarded as more profound; they have deep interconnected Easter eggs, and whatever other reason people give to make them seem deeper than they are.
I'm sorry, but there are dozens of chick flicks that are far better than John Wick or Fast and Furious. I will die on this hill.
Basic b*tches x Attention seeker
Movies, books, and TV shows that are too feminine are considered to lack quality, and those who enjoy them are basic. But the truth is that we women can never win.
If we enjoy things that are deemed masculine, especially in the more geeky arena, such as comic books, video games, and Star Wars, we are constantly branded as "attention seekers". Meaning we only like those things because men like those things, so we are looking for their approval and attention when we enjoy them.
When discussing these topics, women are often quizzed about their knowledge. As if you could only enjoy Star Wars if you knew all the names of the different alien species. It's funny how these game-show-like questions are never asked of random dudes.
It's the same for sports. I have always enjoyed watching soccer football, and at some point, I cared enough to know about the players and teams. Men were always surprised by my knowledge, but they couldn't just let me be and have a normal conversation. I don't know how many times guys have asked me to explain what an offside is.
And when you mind your business and enjoy mainstream things, especially things made for girls and women, you get called basic.
It's funny how we even call ourselves basic for enjoying mainstream TV shows, while I have never seen a man call themselves basic. Their tastes are always deep, varied, and well-thought-out.
Honestly, I also consider my likes and dislikes smart and thought out. I can enjoy The O.C. and read Simone de Beauvoir. In fact, I could even write a text connecting them both.
Stories should be fun as well
It is important to allow everyone to be as basic as they want.
There is more to life than reading about philosophers and neoliberalism and watching documentaries about immigrants in Europe. I really enjoy learning through different media, but sometimes we just need to relax and watch something chill.
What I'm trying to discuss here is not that we should all be erudite all the time. Nor am I trying to shame people for watching action movies or superheroes. That can be fun.
I'm just a bit pissed with society and myself that things that are usually seen as more masculine and not necessarily that deep are still seen as more worthy than things clearly marked for women.
And I wonder why even we women (or at least me) feel like stories with women in the target audience are a waste of time, or too silly to even recommend or talk about?
We should embrace all of our sides, our basic and highbrow likes; and honestly start calling men basic as well.
I have met a few men who have extreme mainstream taste and feel zero shame for it. They still think of themselves as pretty deep in their tastes.
I know I'm calling for equal rights for the seemingly silliest of problems, but it's actually not. Because the issue here is that society holds that everything feminine is inferior, even our stories. And that's not true at all.
Those stories add something to our lives, even if it's just joy, and that's more than enough.
Anyway, go watch Valeria and have a good time.
The Last Song by Nicholas Spark
Nicholas Spark has nailed the romance genre with twenty-three published novels, all New York Times bestsellers. Most of his books have also become movies, such as The Notebook and A Walk to Remember. I read The Last Song around its release in 2009, and I identified a lot with the main character and her love of music and the sea.
10 Things I hate about you (1999)
Maybe my favorite chick flick, 10 Things I Hate About You, is a "modern” take on Shakespeare's The Taming of the Shrew. Heath Ledger made my teenage heart melt, and Julia Stiles as the antisocial Kat is all I wanted to be.
Valeria is a writer who's hit a dead end with both her writing and her husband. She finds solace in her three friends, Carmen, Lola, and Nerea, while she navigates whether she should cheat or not. She starts writing about her situation and finds her life inspiring her book, which leads to success in her career but strains her marriage.
I agree, society still places more value on things that are regarded as masculine. Also, the ideal girl should be hot and have the same interests as a man.
It seems we share a soap box.