"Who is your favorite Spice Girl?”
As a 90s kid, that one question opened the door to befriend any girl. It was social lubricant. It immediately made us part of a group. We were girls who loved the Spice Girls (which in the 90s was basically all of us).
It could be other questions too. “Which is your favorite Pokémon?”, "How many times did you watch Titanic in the cinema?", "Have you seen the latest Britney Spears video clip?"…
This small connection mattered. It meant we could immediately recognize ourselves in others. A small bridge between us would be built. It made us feel like we belonged and that could be the beginning of a friendship.
We had so many pop culture references back then. Things we expected most of the other kids to connect with. But try asking someone today: have you heard of this band or this Netflix series?
It's so rare these days to find someone who listens to your latest favorite band or who recently watched the same series you have that when you find it, you get that immediate connection. Consider yourself lucky if you can find even one common thing a friend has enjoyed in the last three months that you enjoy as well.
Although streaming platforms do promote some productions more than others, in general, what each of us sees when we open our smart TVs, phones or laptops is extremely personalized. And that's the same for Spotify for music, and even more so for social media. No feed is exactly like another feed.
Nothing is popular anymore
Let's take a look at some of the most famous TV shows of 2010.
No one denies Game of Thrones and Breaking Bad are part of pop culture and huge TV successes. The final episode of Breaking Bad was watched by 10 million people in the US and Game of Thrones1 had 19.3 million factored streams the next day.
At the time, the popularity of Game of Thrones seemed to be universal, and it's finale was a big pop culture moment. However, these numbers are dwarfed by how many watched the finale of Friends (52.5 million), Seinfeld (76.3 million), Cheers (84.4 million) and the largest last episode audience ever, for M*A*S*H (105.9 million).
This difference points to the start of a trend that has only gotten worse as TV production has moved more and more to streaming platforms. There are just too many things competing for our time and attention. Too much is being produced, there are too many streaming platforms, and there's even some friction to be reckoned with. Starting to watch something on a streaming platform is not as easy as watching something because you turned on your television and there it was. You have to open the right streaming app (if you even pay for it), search, scroll, and make a decision.
Do you know what will entertain you by showing videos with a simple click of a button and without asking you to choose? Social media.
Maybe that's why we are watching less and less movies or series. It takes more effort. There's just too much noise, too many productions. You can't even count on a friend's recommendation, because maybe they don't even see the same things showing on their screen as you do, or perhaps they don't pay for the same streaming platforms that you pay for.
What we have left are very fragmented audiences, which means we don't have something we all (or most of us) are watching, reading, or listening to. There's nothing truly pop anymore. At least, nothing new.
Why is it a problem?
You are probably thinking, “Why is that a problem?" "I hated TV! It had a billion commercials, cable was expensive…That was terrible! And I like having choices.” And you are right, and I agree how much cable TV sucked. But I will still argue that having way too many options is not that convenient for us either. We constantly have to make decisions and that increases decision fatigue. We are tired. Something as enjoyable as reading a book or watching a television show can become a chore, simply because we have to choose doing it. In that context, social media wins every time. You don't have to make a single decision, just scroll.
And if we completely lose pop culture, we have no simple way to connect with people. Think about what we love nowadays. Taylor Swift is still huge because she started her career in the 2000s. Most movies and TV shows use older intellectual property for recognition, from Marvel Comics and The Addams Family to Barbie.
The only true popular things are those we have already connected to before. This is incredibly sad, because all of the other new ideas, stories, movies, music, cannot cut through the noise of our fragmented streaming platforms or social media feeds. It is also unlikely they will be able to pass through the board rooms to be commissioned for production (probably for the same reason).
We are stuck with the same stories, but we are also stuck with our own particular, algorithm-curated culture that we can't easily share with friends or coworkers anymore. It's harder to find commonalities and it makes it difficult to make friends.
After all, even if subconsciously, we expect our loved ones to share similar tastes to us. But as our tastes get more individualized because of our personalized feeds, we get a bit more separated from each other.
But there's something that shows up in everyone's feeds
Bad news2.
Even if we don't hear the same music, watch the same movies or series, in our feed we will see the same bad news. Wars, famines, politics doing crazy things, mass shootings, random people acting repulsively. It doesn't matter which side of the bubble you are on, you will always see bad news. Bad news became our pop culture.
We meet at a bar with friends and say: "Did you see what that politician did?” to connect. Most of the time, people will have seen it and probably will be as outraged as you are.
Politics became our pop culture. It became a thing we can easily connect with and feel like we are a part of a group. The easy go-to topic.
That has its own implications and effects on polarizing everyone. The importance of belonging to an in-group cannot be overstated. But politics, especially when it is based on bad news, only makes us angry. Talking to people as angry as us, especially friends and family, only solidifies our own ideas and sometimes even hatred. Honestly, I think it was nicer when we could connect over being a Spice Girls fan.
Okay, but do we need pop culture to make friends?
I wouldn't strictly say so. People can still connect over sports3, hobbies, work, politics, religion, and many other subjects.
The thing is, I suspect that the fragmentation of culture we are experimenting with through our own extremely curated feeds plays a role in many of the topics I am interested in and have already addressed in this newsletter: how polarized we are, how lonely we are and how repetitive and uninspired many movies and TV series have been.
For instance, why is Hollywood so obsessed with remakes, spin-offs, and all kinds of re-use of stories from the 70s, 80s, 90s, and aughts?
They do it because those stories and characters are recognizable, making them easy to market for. Since everything is so fragmented, with too many things fighting for our attention, only what is already recognizable will cut through the noise. Plus, nostalgia sells. In other words, we will probably continue in this cycle for a very long time to come.
Furthermore, I am concerned about loneliness, how fractured our lives are, and how they are trending toward worsening. Although it's not the only reason we feel disconnected from each other, this cultural fragmentation also contributes to how we feel distant.
We lose something when we can't establish this kind of connection. When we can't see ourselves in another person with a simple question. Even if slightly, it makes it harder to build bridges and create meaningful friendships.
It may seem silly, but pop culture plays a significant role in connection and how we see ourselves in the world4. I bet you can remember at least one moment in your life when you sang a song at the top of your lungs with your friends. I also bet that you were overjoyed at that moment and maybe even remembering it now makes you smile.
That connection right there, it matters.
Is there a solution? I don't know. Maybe we can create this scarcity ourselves by having fewer social media accounts and streaming platforms. Going to the movies to watch movies and taking things slow. Inviting friends to listen to music or watch something in our sofas together.
In a way, I wish we had fewer options. I actually enjoy having to wait for an episode to be released. More is not always better. More is usually overwhelming.
As for me, I try to offer recommendations. Maybe that will make the decision a little less stressful for you. Maybe we can connect over what we read, watch, and binge.
(yes, I did that 🙃)
I still remember where I was on that Sunday night's GoT finale. I didn't have HBO but I was invited to watch the show with friends. We would meet every Sunday to watch the latest episode together. The final episode was a letdown, but still, I can look back and remember having a good time with friends sharing this moment.
Also celebrity drama. If a celebrity got into a fight, said something, made a face or even took a sip of wine that becomes discussed to exhaustion and shared, and discussed, and shared, discussed some more and re-shared…Until it becomes a meme and we move on to the next celebrity drama. Rinse and repeat.
I would say sports still are a common go-to topic for a lot of people. I think one reason men love sports is the fact that they can bond with other men over it. They can befriend any man in any situation. All they need to do is talk about their team's season and they are set. They can easily empathize with the other person. They feel like they belong to something bigger than themselves and have something to talk to for hours without feeling awkward at all.
But sports are very regionalized and there are many types of sports. Even the most popular sport, football (the real one, sorry US), will help you connect with some people, but not all. People follow different sports and most don't follow any at all. So, it's not as simple a solution to connect as pop culture has always been.
Just ask gay man about their love for pop divas.
Great piece. I agree 100%. When I was younger, so much of the connections I made involved bands, shows, movies, etc., that we loved and talked endlessly about. Now, I'm just on my own consumer island and it sucks.
I've never left a comment before but I love this piece. Wholeheartly agree with every thing you said, it's something I ponder about often myself. Everyone I know watches TV shows but rarely there's someone I can talk to about them since we are all watching different things or watching them years apart.