This is something I had to come to terms with. I attended a Christian college, and they literally had a center for “calling and career.” The idea that your life’s calling (what does that even mean?) was tied up neatly with your career was the theme for everything. It was crushing when I graduated in 2008 with a liberal arts degree and the economy was in the toilet. My life is completely different now, but I can see how this mindset is very damaging and sets people up for a lifetime of disappointments and low self esteem.
Hi Ashley! As I said in the text I think a lot of quarter -life crises are a bit about that. That we have to come to terms that “follow your dreams” or “find your true calling” will not be enough. Sometimes not enough to make money, and other times not enough to keep us completely happy.
"Why, then, would it make sense to choose one direction when we are 18 that we have to stick with for the rest of our lives?"
I started out wanting to make music videos. Studied film. Then made documentaries and television ads. Then pivotted into web design then rolled into software development and now user experience design while pining after writing. All while my wife thinks I should really be painting.
Thank you for helping me reframe that (again) as a positive and playful meander. Rather than a wasteful lack of focus.
It's so easy for us creatives to be hard on ourselves about an inefficient route or time wasted playing. 💜
We all are creative and interested in a lot of things. It’s pretty great that you have the chance to try them out. That’s what not everybody has. Go for it! :)
I love this article. Two years ago I came across some Youtube videos that were titled "I don't dream of labor" in which people questioned the idea of a dream job. It was really eye-opening for me. So glad that you also write about this. I feel like it isn't discussed enough.
Hi Feli! I love this topic. I have suffered a lot by assigning my worth and happiness to my career. Work is such an enormous part of our societies and our lives! It is what has made the phone I’m tapping in, the internet we are talking through, the sofa I’m sitting in. It’s hard to wrap our minds around how much is created and how it could be so much better. It shouldn’t be the meaning for our existence, but sometimes it is part of it. It’s quite complex.
I get what you mean. I want to believe that humans are inherently active and creative. I think the problem is when capitalism tries to exploit these traits by putting pressure on us but maybe I'm just naive. I'm very curious how the world would look like with an Universal Basic Income but that's a whole other topic
I have been brought face to face with this fact during the pandemic. I thought I would take time off from directing and then re-emerge when the vaccines came online and life returned to normal. But I never did, for a multitude of reasons. And now I’m still slowly figuring out where to go next. I’m not in stasis by any means...I’m helping stock a community fridge and just got my black belt. But all my life I was set on one trajectory, and now I’m still a bit at sea while most of my friends are pondering retirement in 12-15 years!
The pandemic was a big one for reconsideration. Everyone finally got the time to think about life and where they were heading and all that. It was the silver lining of it.
But the good thing is that no one has it figured it out. We are all just trying our best. ;)
Great topic. Another show to binge, or at least watch the first episode of, is Felicity, from the late 90s. This is a show all about making choices in life, and in the first episode Felicity makes a big mistake (although this being TV, it turns out okay): she takes literally the adult advice of her high school commencement. You know, all that follow your dreams, follow your heart stuff.
The commencement speaker actually says “Savor the possibilities, embrace life” and so Felicity does, and decides to leave California and her med school plans there and follow a boy she barely knows to school in New York.
Here’s the opening scene of episode one, written by J.J. Abrams:
It seems to me that Felicity and perhaps many commencement speakers are people who misunderstand Robert Frost’s famous poem, “The Road Not Taken.” I think it has a very ambiguous ending, yet a common interpretation of this poem is to go your own way, dance to the beat of your own drummer, that sort of thing, even though, like Felicity, it may lead to disillusionment.
I have never watched Felicity, but I remember when it was on TV. It was pretty famous. I’ll give it a check.
And yes, totally agree that “follow your dreams” can lead to a lot of problems. Especially regarding careers. We cannot all have the dream job, and a lot of times the dream job will not make us fully satisfied either. I think the best would be trying to make your daily life the best you can, add to it the activities that will make you happy whenever possible. That’s what I try to do, not always successfully of course. :)
This is something I had to come to terms with. I attended a Christian college, and they literally had a center for “calling and career.” The idea that your life’s calling (what does that even mean?) was tied up neatly with your career was the theme for everything. It was crushing when I graduated in 2008 with a liberal arts degree and the economy was in the toilet. My life is completely different now, but I can see how this mindset is very damaging and sets people up for a lifetime of disappointments and low self esteem.
Hi Ashley! As I said in the text I think a lot of quarter -life crises are a bit about that. That we have to come to terms that “follow your dreams” or “find your true calling” will not be enough. Sometimes not enough to make money, and other times not enough to keep us completely happy.
Absolutely!! Sometimes you just gotta pay the bills.
"Why, then, would it make sense to choose one direction when we are 18 that we have to stick with for the rest of our lives?"
I started out wanting to make music videos. Studied film. Then made documentaries and television ads. Then pivotted into web design then rolled into software development and now user experience design while pining after writing. All while my wife thinks I should really be painting.
Thank you for helping me reframe that (again) as a positive and playful meander. Rather than a wasteful lack of focus.
It's so easy for us creatives to be hard on ourselves about an inefficient route or time wasted playing. 💜
Hi Zane!
We all are creative and interested in a lot of things. It’s pretty great that you have the chance to try them out. That’s what not everybody has. Go for it! :)
I love this article. Two years ago I came across some Youtube videos that were titled "I don't dream of labor" in which people questioned the idea of a dream job. It was really eye-opening for me. So glad that you also write about this. I feel like it isn't discussed enough.
Hi Feli! I love this topic. I have suffered a lot by assigning my worth and happiness to my career. Work is such an enormous part of our societies and our lives! It is what has made the phone I’m tapping in, the internet we are talking through, the sofa I’m sitting in. It’s hard to wrap our minds around how much is created and how it could be so much better. It shouldn’t be the meaning for our existence, but sometimes it is part of it. It’s quite complex.
I get what you mean. I want to believe that humans are inherently active and creative. I think the problem is when capitalism tries to exploit these traits by putting pressure on us but maybe I'm just naive. I'm very curious how the world would look like with an Universal Basic Income but that's a whole other topic
I have been brought face to face with this fact during the pandemic. I thought I would take time off from directing and then re-emerge when the vaccines came online and life returned to normal. But I never did, for a multitude of reasons. And now I’m still slowly figuring out where to go next. I’m not in stasis by any means...I’m helping stock a community fridge and just got my black belt. But all my life I was set on one trajectory, and now I’m still a bit at sea while most of my friends are pondering retirement in 12-15 years!
The pandemic was a big one for reconsideration. Everyone finally got the time to think about life and where they were heading and all that. It was the silver lining of it.
But the good thing is that no one has it figured it out. We are all just trying our best. ;)
Great topic. Another show to binge, or at least watch the first episode of, is Felicity, from the late 90s. This is a show all about making choices in life, and in the first episode Felicity makes a big mistake (although this being TV, it turns out okay): she takes literally the adult advice of her high school commencement. You know, all that follow your dreams, follow your heart stuff.
The commencement speaker actually says “Savor the possibilities, embrace life” and so Felicity does, and decides to leave California and her med school plans there and follow a boy she barely knows to school in New York.
Here’s the opening scene of episode one, written by J.J. Abrams:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxrHlPOn6RM
It seems to me that Felicity and perhaps many commencement speakers are people who misunderstand Robert Frost’s famous poem, “The Road Not Taken.” I think it has a very ambiguous ending, yet a common interpretation of this poem is to go your own way, dance to the beat of your own drummer, that sort of thing, even though, like Felicity, it may lead to disillusionment.
What do you think?
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/44272/the-road-not-taken
I have never watched Felicity, but I remember when it was on TV. It was pretty famous. I’ll give it a check.
And yes, totally agree that “follow your dreams” can lead to a lot of problems. Especially regarding careers. We cannot all have the dream job, and a lot of times the dream job will not make us fully satisfied either. I think the best would be trying to make your daily life the best you can, add to it the activities that will make you happy whenever possible. That’s what I try to do, not always successfully of course. :)