I'm the problem, it's me

What our online behavior does to others

After some reflection, I realized that my recommendations contribute to the feeling of overwhelm I write about constantly. You know the feeling. Like we are always out of time and will never be able to see, experience, or be everything we desire.

Let me explain.

It all started with board games. Like anything else in the hyper-consumerist world we live in, there are thousands of them you can buy and play. The board game industry releases hundreds of new titles every year. Even if you buy a new one every day, you will never run out of options. And as with anything else, people review them online.

Last week, I watched this girl talking about her top 10 board games on YouTube. It was a simple review video, similar to thousands around YouTube. But it got me thinking.

Not only did she had all of her favorite 10 board games on hand, but multiple expansion packs. And of course, many other games since that is what her channel is about¹. Even though those were her favorites, she confessed she had only played most of her games once or twice.

At the same time, she compared one of her top 10 to Cluedo, which she loved as a kid and played over and over again. And that was what got me. As an adult, she can have all the board games she wants and ever dreamed of. However, she will not have the time to play them, and she will never enjoy them as much as Cluedo.

That got me thinking about my childhood. I had very few board games growing up, (less than 10), but that didn't bother me at all. Just like YouTube girl, I played them again and again.

It was the same for movies or video games. I had my collection of VHS tapes and a few Nintendo cartridges and I would watch and play the same thing over and over again. And again and again. In every video game I played I tried to achieve 100% completion, complete all side quests, and do all I could in that game. Even though that was out of my mind as a kid, I would definitely make them worth the money.

So I wondered what had changed.

Nowadays if I buy a Nintendo Switch game, after one run-through of all phases and modes I'm already thinking about the next one. After I win, I don't play it again. Of course, the main reason is that I have far less free time to play video games than I did as a child and more money, but that is just part of it.

Since I know there are thousands of other options out there to try out, I'm constantly craving new experiences. This feeling was not something common when I was a kid. I felt like my games were enough.

Part of the reason was that there didn't seem to be many options. The word seem is key here. Even back then, there were 388 Nintendo 64 games produced². However, I had no idea. If you asked me when I was 11 how many games there were I would probably cite the 10-20 games I knew.

What I'm trying to get to here is that it's not only that there are thousands of entertainment options. It's that we know and are constantly reminded that there are thousands of entertainment options. And that makes us anxious. It's the constant flow of information reminding us that there are thousands of books you could be reading, thousands of movies you could be watching, and thousands of games you could be playing.

And who is responsible for those constant reminders? Well, first of all, ads and the companies themselves, but also both influencers and normal people on the internet.

As a child, I could only learn about an upcoming game (or anything else) through TV ads or by buying a specialized magazine. Now this information is on any screen that I frequently check. We are constantly bombarded with what we are missing. In our feeds, emails, and even friend’s messages.

And in that sense, I'm part of the problem here. I'm reminding everyone of more books to read, and more TV series and movies to watch. I'm generating the same anxiety I get when I watch videos of people listing the "top 10 cozy games to play” or the "must-watch TV shows on HBO". Which is not an immediate direct anxiety, but a constant buzz in the back of my mind. It generates this sense of overwhelm, of too much information and too much to do. Of not having enough time.

Worst of all, it makes me to not really enjoy what I do have. What I have already bought.

And honestly, that's for everything. Traveling, clothes, you name it. Anything that can be shared online. You can watch someone you don't even know visiting a place you have never dreamed existed and suddenly you need to go there.

In the same way, you see someone wearing nice clothes, and a mimetic desire builds inside of you. That leads us to buy more and never feel satisfied with what we have. We buy things we didn't even know existed a minute ago.

I know all of this is pretty obvious, it's the basis of marketing. But what got me was that maybe we were happier when we didn't know? When we didn't have unlimited information and thousands of reviews at our fingertips.

When I didn't know I had so many options, I enjoyed what I had. I was more than satisfied playing the same game again and again.

In reality, most things we don't even need. Especially the ones we don't even know exist. How can we want something we just learned about?

And maybe by not knowing every little thing we are missing out there, all the books, the trips, the games, the movies…we can finally get a bit of peace?

Just wondering.

1. It didn't escape my attention how much money she spent on all of that. Not judging here (well, maybe a bit), people can spend their money in whichever way they find fit.

2. Just a tiny fraction of what is available now for Nintendo Switch.